Get Thee to the Confessional!
by Mr. Phil Kosloski, Director of Adult Formation
Most people dread going to confession. Why do I have to
confess my sins to a priest? Can't I go straight to God? Doesn't God already
know my sins?
The short answer is that confession is for our sake and not
God's. God knows everything about our lives. He knows every strand of hair on
our head. Obviously He knows every sin we commit. However, like a loving father
He wants us to approach Him for forgiveness.
As any parent knows, when your child does something wrong
right in front of you, what do you tell them? "Say you're sorry!" Now
do parents do this for their sake? No. They know what the child did wrong.
However, all good parents want their children to know that what they did was
wrong and that they need to apologize for it. Similarly, God knows our sins, but He wants us to make the effort,
realize what we did was indeed wrong and then apologize for our wrongdoing.
Why can't I
confess my sins straight to God? Sin by
its very nature is communal. As much as we deny it, all of our sins hurt other
people. Even our thoughts injure our communion with others for they lead to
actions or words that damage. Consequently, we need to not only reconcile with
God, but also with the Church. The priest is the representative of the Church
and he reconciles the sinner, bringing them back into full communion with the
People of God.
Also, we must always
remember that it is not the priest who absolves our sins but God! God uses
the priest as an instrument of grace for the penitent. The priest is acting in persona Christ, in the person of
Christ. Jesus Christ is the one who is truly there in the sacrament and He
alone grants pardon.
Sin is also
naturally prideful. Every sin stems from a
prideful attitude that "I" know better than God. Gossiping and
slandering about friends and relatives makes the statement that "I"
have the ability to enact judgment. "I" know what is good and what is
evil. "I" have a special knowledge that no one else has.
"I" have sex outside of marriage, because "I" think it is
OK. As a result, confessing our sins
demands a humiliation. We must approach the priest and admit our fault and
say that "I detest all my sins." There
is a reason why we don't want to go to confession to a priest: we don't want to
be humiliated! We want to keep our sin to ourselves as a pet that no one
knows about. Going to a priest "lets the cat out of the bag" and we
can no longer keep our sin hidden. However, the first step to sanctity demands
this humility. The only way we can get
to Heaven is if we recognize this fact: God is God and we are not.
The Good News
Thankfully, there is good news. God is not out to smite us. Instead, He beckons us to the
confessional and like a loving father, embraces us. Read the story of the
Prodigal Son in Luke chapter 15. There you will see an image of God that is not
a white man with a grey beard sitting on a cloud, looking down upon us and
ready to strike poor sinners with a lightning bolt. That is not who God is! God is an "eternal exchange of
love" and He has "destined us to share in that exchange" as the
Catechism tells us. The reason why He
wants us to go to confession is because He loves us!
Think of it this way: in any relationship, to truly love
someone implies that you try your best not offend them. You do not do this
because you are afraid that they are going to hurt you, you do this because you
love them. You can think of nothing
else than to avoid any occasion that might possibly offend them. To love them
is to venerate their goodness and to do all in your power to love them rather
than hurt them. This is what confession
is all about! We must love God, not be afraid of Him!
When should I go to confession? The Church prescribes the
following:
(CCC 1457) Anyone who is aware of having committed a mortal sin must not receive Holy Communion, even if he experiences deep contrition, without having first received sacramental absolution, unless he has a grave reason for receiving Communion and there is no possibility of going to confession. Children must go to the sacrament of Penance before receiving Holy Communion for the first time.
1458 Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church. Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit. By receiving more frequently through this sacrament the gift of the Father's mercy, we are spurred to be merciful as he is merciful. (emphasis added)
In summary, we go to confession when we have committed a
mortal sin, for we can NOT go to Holy
Communion when we commit a mortal sin! What is a mortal sin?
(CCC 1857) For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent."1311858 Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: "Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and your mother."132 The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger. (emphasis added)
The Church also
instructs us that ALL SEXUAL SIN IS GRAVE MATTER. The Church instructs this way not because sex is bad, but
because sex is so HOLY and GOOD that God destined it only to be expressed in
the right way in the context of the Sacrament of Marriage. Also, contraceptives are intrinsically
disordered and inhibits the sexual act to be an act of the renewing of wedding
vows (I promise to accept children
lovingly from God). Pornography is also a grave sin, for it debases the
sexual act to a plaything and uses women as objects. The greatest oppression of women is pornography. It says that women
are objects to use and throw away instead of human beings of beauty and
infinite worth. (click here for more on contraceptives and pornography. For help breaking free from pornography, click here)
We also go to confession when we commit venial sin,
because it "helps us form our conscience, fight
against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the
life of the Spirit."
Can't find the time to go to
confession? There are many opportunities to go to confession in our parish and
in the deanery. Coming up we will be having a Lenten Penance service which can
be found in the bulletin. Still feel like there isn't enough opportunity to go
to confession? Pray for priests! Not
only do we need more in the vineyard, but priests do not always know the
importance of confession. Pray that more priests will recognize the beauty of
the Sacrament and offer it more. It also never hurts to send a priest an
uplifting letter thanking them for being available for confession. Priests
always get nasty letters. Why not give them a letter that encourages and lifts
them up? Then they will see the beauty and possibly offer confession more.
Don't know how to
go to confession? There are pamphlets in the back of Church as well as online.
You can check out an Examination of Conscience at:
Get Thee to the
Confessional!
More resources on Confession:
